Pictures of you,
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
a little bit more. ♥ 10:12 PM


"what it takes, i don't care"

results are all back. like [insert brown word here].
both sciences and arts also not good, siannnnnn.
grades drop drop drop, drop drop drop.
who's fault? my fault. never study hard enough. haii.
training's coming back in full force. kiss my social life goodbye.

): what a year.
came to vj to learn more stuff and to get better cross stuff.
and i accomplished o out of the 2. good job jaime, maybe that's why you feel like this.
and which stupid stupid girl decided to be hopeful and believe in things that were only too good to believe. jaime maria faith tan, the stupid girl who is going to keep getting herself in predicaments and painful situations. why? because i am stupid and/or have no ability to decide.
really wonder why i get all these chances and opportunities to do great things and to be awesome. God's really wasting them on me, i don't even use them well enough.
and maybe that's why i feel like [insert appropriate degree of emotion here]

rachel says don't be too hard on myself, i'm in IP. that's true (for results at least). but how am i supposed to account for my [insert brown word]cross results, my average track performance and my horrible declining responsibilility capability. can't can't can't. i'm not doing my best to fulfill my potential! and being in IP, does it mean i am in some ways handicapped to her, who sometimes i become really jealous of because that girl is going to fricking [insert elite school here] by doing something nobody competes in and has everything i want because she's got the used-to-be perfect [insert word here]and still has that perfect impression because it hasn't ruined her or her heart yet.
oh god jaime, i really hate you so much for being a bitch and for dwelling on this for so long.

i wish i were a werewolf; they heal fast. i wish i were a vampire; they're cold blooded. i wish i were a zombie; they don't feel anything at all. i wish i'd just be contended with myself and let live.

okay i shall stop this unpleasant post. goodbye and farewell. see you when i'm in a better mood.
everyone who's life is turning the right way up, told you there's a fixed amount of happiness in the world, and i'm happy that its your turn to be happy. try as hard as you can to make more happiness in the world.

; JAIME!


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